My husband and I had been married for a little over a year. At first, we planned to wait until my job was more stable before having a child. But our families kept pushing us, saying we were getting older and that it would be harder to have a baby later. It became exhausting.
Where we live in Gansu, if a couple has been married for a year and still does not have a child, many older relatives will automatically assume something is wrong—usually with the woman. Then come all kinds of folk remedies people heard from somewhere, or suggestions to go to a temple and pray. In short, they do not let you have any peace.
After my work became more stable last year, we did start thinking seriously about having a baby. One thing that worried me was my severe myopia. I had heard people talk about things like genetic adjustment, so I wanted to go to the hospital and ask before officially trying to conceive. We kept putting it off until May this year, when we finally went to a city hospital to ask about whether high myopia could be inherited.
The doctor told us there was no real way to avoid it. There is a chance of inheritance, but it is not 100 percent. The doctor also suggested checking for things like hereditary heart disease. Since neither of our families had a history of those illnesses, we did not do any further tests.
After coming back, we thought we would begin preparing for pregnancy properly. Unexpectedly, I was already pregnant. It felt like the baby had arrived quietly on their own, before we had even started trying. I was excited and worried at the same time. Excited because it happened so smoothly, and worried because I was afraid the baby might inherit my high myopia.
Those first few days after finding out, I was extremely anxious. Later, I slowly came around to it. Since the baby had come, I decided I would carry them well and give birth to them.
The first three months of pregnancy were truly miserable. Every day felt like something I had to endure. At one point, I even thought I did not want the baby anymore. From the moment I opened my eyes in the morning, I felt nauseous and weak. Fortunately, I could still eat, but as soon as I finished eating, I would throw up. I vomited at least five or six times a day. If I was working a night shift, I could throw up five or six times in one night alone.
Every day was just getting through one stretch after another: from morning to noon, from noon to night, from night until daybreak. I tried all kinds of remedies I found online, but none of them helped. That was how I struggled through the first 12 weeks. Only after that did things finally get a little better.
Pregnancy really costs money. Because I work in a hospital, we were able to do some of the lab tests ourselves. But because of my severe myopia, I do not dare give birth at our county-level hospital. I plan to go to the provincial maternal and child health hospital instead.
Going to the provincial hospital costs even more. There are all kinds of genetic disease screenings, and doctors know exactly how pregnant women think. As soon as we hear that something is good for the baby, we just pay for it. It feels like paying for peace of mind. One visit can cost more than 2,000 yuan.
Originally, I could have done the regular Down syndrome screening, but I heard that the non-invasive prenatal test was more accurate, so we spent more money on that instead. Between the two of us, our salaries are gone every month. On top of that, there are supplements and medicines: Runkang, iron, calcium, vitamins, and more. I take pills from 5:30 in the morning until 10:30 at night. I also have hypothyroidism during pregnancy, so I have been taking medication for that as well. Now just seeing medicine makes me want to throw up.
After the first trimester passed, the second trimester became the most comfortable part of the whole pregnancy. I can eat, drink, and sleep. I am a little over five months pregnant now, and I never feel full after meals. My weight has gone from about 100 jin before pregnancy to 120 jin now.
My family keeps telling me to eat more, saying it is good for the baby. To be honest, I have never had much resistance when it comes to food anyway. Now I am just letting myself eat. If I gain weight, then I gain weight. I will think about losing it after the baby is born.